A new job is a leaving do wearing a party hat. One group is celebrating and another group is working out who now has to do the thing that person quietly handled, which is why the best gifts in this category are a little bit about both.
‘Please Don’t Leave Me in This Shithole’ is the purest example — a mug given by the ones staying, which is funny precisely because it is sincere. For the person arriving somewhere new, desk objects work best: they need something with personality on an empty desk in week one. All under twenty dollars.
A new job is a leaving do wearing a party hat.
The short list
- Cityhermit 11Pcs Funny Adult Ballpoint Pen Set, Premium Days of The Week · $6.99
- Things I Can’t Say Out Loud In Meetings: Funny Notebook for Work, Gag Gi · $7.95
- 5Aup Please Don’t Leave Me in This Shithole Mug, New Job Gift for Cowork · $7.99
- Guajolote Prints Funny Notepads (4-Pack) — Office & Work From Home Gag G · $8.99
- Decodyne Funny Sloth Coffee Mug - Cute Sloth Gifts For Coworkers Women & · $9.95
- A Little Toast to Your New Job - Mini Handmade Crochet Toast, Funny New · $9.99
- Desk Sign 10x2 In,Desk of a Humble Genius · $9.99
- HR Approved Way To Say Things I Can’t Say Out Loud At Work (HR Approved · $11.99
- Passive Aggressive Pens, Funny Office Gag Gift for Coworkers & Friends · $13.99
- LIGHTEN LIFE Good Luck Finding Better Coworkers Than Us Whiskey Glass 12 · $16.99
The best under $10
Where this list is strongest. Nothing here costs more than a sandwich and several of them are the funniest things on the page.
One
Desk gifts / Under $10
Cityhermit 11Pcs Funny Adult Ballpoint Pen Set, Premium Days of The Week Swear Cuss Word Pens for Office Gifts, Novelty Pens for Corworkers
Eleven swear-word pens, one for each day of the week plus a few spares for really bad Mondays. Strictly for their own desk, not the client contract.
Buy on Amazon UKTwo
Desk gifts / Under $10
Things I Can’t Say Out Loud In Meetings: Funny Notebook for Work, Gag Gift, Boss, Office, Secret Santa Gift for Coworker (Lined Journal with Quotes)
A lined notebook for all the things they can’t say out loud in meetings at the new place. It will be full by the second all-hands.
Buy on Amazon UKThree
Coworker leaving / Mugs under $10
5Aup Please Don’t Leave Me in This Shithole Mug, New Job Gift for Coworker
‘Please don’t leave me in this shithole... I mean, yay, new job!‘ The most honest goodbye mug ever made, for the work bestie who’s escaping first.
Buy on Amazon UKFour
Desk gifts / Under $10
Guajolote Prints Funny Notepads (4-Pack) — Office & Work From Home Gag Gift for Coworkers or Friends — Sarcastic Desk Memo Pads — Everything Is Fine, This Is My Life Now, I Have No Idea What I’m Doing, I’m Not Even Trying Anymore
Four sarcastic notepads: ‘Everything Is Fine,‘ ‘This Is My Life Now,‘ ‘I Have No Idea What I’m Doing’ and ‘I’m Not Even Trying Anymore.‘ Basically the first-week-at-a-new-job experience, in memo form.
Buy on Amazon UKFive
For him & her / Mugs under $10
Decodyne Funny Sloth Coffee Mug - Cute Sloth Gifts For Coworkers Women & Men - White Elephant Gifts for Adults, Funny Office Present
A sloth mug that announces ‘Today I will do absolutely nothing.‘ Ideal for the new hire who plans to pace themselves.
Buy on Amazon UKSix
For him & her / Under $10
A Little Toast to Your New Job - Mini Handmade Crochet Toast, Funny New Job Gifts for Women Men, Best Farewell Gifts for Coworkers Friends, Good Luck Gift New Beginnings
A tiny handmade crochet toast with a card that says ‘Here’s a little toast to your new job.‘ It’s a pun, a desk buddy and a congratulations card in one adorable slice.
Buy on Amazon UKSeven
Desk gifts / Under $10
Desk Sign 10x2 In,Desk of a Humble Genius
A 10-inch ‘Desk of a Humble Genius’ sign so the new team knows exactly who they hired. Humble is doing a lot of work here.
Buy on Amazon UK$10 to $15
The sweet spot: cheap enough to be a casual gift, solid enough not to look like one.
Eight
Books under $15
HR Approved Way To Say Things I Can’t Say Out Loud At Work (HR Approved Office Survival Series)
The HR-approved translation guide for office life, turning what you want to say into what you’re allowed to say. Essential onboarding material they won’t get from the actual onboarding.
Buy on Amazon UKNine
Desk gifts / Under $15
Passive Aggressive Pens, Funny Office Gag Gift for Coworkers & Friends
Five passive-aggressive click pens with sarcastic sayings for every ‘per my last email’ moment. They’ll be the most-borrowed pens in the new office, for better or worse.
Buy on Amazon UK$15 to $20
The top of the budget, where the objects start being things people keep.
Ten
For him / Farewell gifts
LIGHTEN LIFE Good Luck Finding Better Coworkers Than Us Whiskey Glass 12 oz,Novelty Coworker Leaving Gift in Valued Wooden Box,Farewell Gift for Coworker Boss Colleague Friend Men
A whiskey glass engraved ‘Good Luck Finding Better Coworkers Than Us,‘ in a wooden gift box. A guilt trip that’s also a really nice glass.
Buy on Amazon UKHow to choose
Decide which direction the joke points. Gifts from the colleagues staying behind should be about missing them. Gifts for the new desk should be about the new job. Mixing them up produces a mug nobody can display in either office.
Desk objects help in week one. A new starter has an empty desk and nothing to signal who they are. A sign or a notepad with a joke on it does more social work in the first fortnight than it ever will afterwards.
Check the new office before the sweary ones. The passive aggressive pens and the swear-word sets are excellent among people who know each other and risky on a first day somewhere new. Save those for the leaving gift.
Questions people ask
What is a good funny leaving gift for a coworker?
The ‘Please Don’t Leave Me in This Shithole’ mug at around eight dollars, or ‘Good Luck Finding Better Coworkers’ at around seventeen. Both are funny because they are partly true.
What is a good funny new job gift under $20?
The ‘Desk of a Humble Genius’ sign at around ten dollars, or the funny notepads at around nine. Both give a new starter something with personality on an otherwise empty desk.
How much should you spend on a coworker’s leaving gift?
Five to twenty dollars individually, or a whip-round of three to five dollars a head for something better. A card signed by everyone matters more than the amount, and should accompany whatever you buy.